my hopes are not very high.

dont have the strong liking for uptlc anymore. i wonder why. had this weird feeling sitting there with the pple whom i usuall was happy with.

somethings dont seem right anymore.

btw, saw this very nice pair of male indian eyes at novena today. on my way to uptlc. =)

you will never be replaced ;
8:21 pm

this is for an annoying person that i've met. if i say i suck, den i suck. if i say i fear i'll fail my add-maths, i really fear the failure. if i say i've got not enough money, i really got not enough money. who the hell would want to complain if i do not think those things would happen. i'm not an idiot to have a million dollars with me, and whine over the lack of money. likewise, i wun be stupid enough to whine about bad results if i got all As or Bs. if i whine, its my problem. u dont want to hear it. u jolly well go away. no1s forcing you to stay in the area and listen to all that crap. besides, i am not even telling you anything. u chose to hear it. if u didnt want to, there's no use telling me at that time, 'coz i WILL not listen to your shit! so mind your own business. i was telling some other person and u blame me for that. even that person is not complaining. so why do you bother? for god's sake, who was the whiny one when u failed to get what u wanted in the o's. i am not crying over my results. i am just complaining. dont u complain? sometimes i just feel like getting a mirror and placing it in front of you. wth! how many pple out there know the reasons to all these rubbish? besides, i am not the one who keeps all the money with me and makes my friend buy stuff for me. i'm not that cheap. when you're angry, u show temper, regardless of who is with you. u even treat your good friends like dirt. what makes u think they like you? do u know how many different types of gossips (truth) is going around behind your back?! ur friends are already trying to be very nice to you. and all you do, is give them the damn bloody freaking attitude. with tons and tons of insults. wow. let me tell u this, it wont take very long for anyone to treat u the same way you're treating pple now. do the pple around you owe u a living or something? to me, you're just a few degrees higher than a guy from my class, character-wise. your unreasonable hatred for a girl makes you look stupid, but somehow u never can think of that. i wonder why. ok. i know i've got no rights to say anything about ur damn freaked up attitude or charachter. but hey, i couldnt help it ya.

i've made this entry as direct as possible. if you think its u, then its u. if u dun think its u, so let it be. since i've not interfered in your opinion (for my entry), i expect u not to interfere in anything to do with me. i think thats pretty fair.

-i may delete this blog at a later date-

you will never be replaced ;
9:47 pm

My Results

E-maths: A1 (77)
A-maths: C5 (55)
English: B4 (60)
Higher Tamil: A2 (70.5)
Literature: C6 (51)
Combined Humanities: C5 (56)
Physics: C6 (51)
Chemistry: C5 (55)
Tamil (O'Levels 03): A1

current L1R5: 21

i'm not going anywhere. i fear the thought of a new mother tongue class. dun ask me why. its just scary. but if i go to a jc, i NEED to take AO level MT although its optional for me in order to have higher chances of passing my promos. the prob: i dun speak tamil to pple lyk 99% of the time. very rare. and jc tamil class..... so i dun wanna go to a jc. decided.

updated: 29th September 2004

you will never be replaced ;
9:40 pm

omg! srk's next movie (Veer Zaara) has got 11 songs. the movie's gonna be at the most 3h.

11 X 5 minutes/song =55 minutes.

thats like 1 hour for the songs only. and 2 hours of movie. woah! tts alot!

but hey, its still srk. and its worth it i guess.

you will never be replaced ;
1:12 pm

i'm currently stuck between north and south pole.

despite ranting so much about it in my lj, i dun think i had enough. i'm lyk iron. should i magnetise myself and get my south pole attracted to the north OR my north pole to the south pole of the other magnet. or should i juz remain as myself and get attracted to both north and south pole. i dunno. will i be doing injustice to the north pole? i dunno.

ps: i did not go mad after the physics paper.

you will never be replaced ;
2:53 pm

went to bb juz now with grace to pass lk the book. that lady took so long to photocopy, (or so lk says). den while waiting me and grace went to westmall, where she got so excited over the uncensored version of the butterfly effect. and she bought it. lol. at lot 1, we went to the library. and then to laserflair, where she bought Friends Series 1. And she PROMISED to lend it to me. rite grace? yes. so nice of u. =)

you will never be replaced ;
4:26 pm

today's a-maths was so much better than yesterday's. haiz. i feel so guilty not performing up to expectations. although, the paper was easier, i dun think i'll pass though. it'll be sheryl this time round. hee.

chem was easier than expected. but i've nv passed chem in my upper sec life. ya. so, my results is kinda expected eh.

2 more papers. wait. its 4. e-maths p2, lit p2, cme and chem p1. i'm not gonna bother about cme. study or dun study, pass or fail. will it make any difference to the rest of my horrible grades. if it does, i'll have a second thought.

next wednesday holiday eh? if it is. i'm so looking forward to it. sleep late, wake up late, slack for that day. tts worth my lack of sleep the past few days. =)

you will never be replaced ;
2:06 pm

today's additional mathematics paper was a flop. everyone in class seemed normal, they had some kinda glow in their faces. probably didnt find it as sucky as i did eh?

pameela's gonna bottom her class in a-maths. (gee)

you will never be replaced ;
11:47 am

notice: the things under things to do were added by grace. i'm too lazy to update them. will do them aft prelims.

physics kinda sucked. i think i'll stay at home for the first 3 months next year. i must start to mentally prepare myself.

yesterday's e-maths was ok. which means monday's paper 2 wud be a killer. tts the trend in bp. but i'm gonna fail my lit. my prose, according to osgodby, was out of point and my textbased, i've got no confidence in it.

tml is my nightmare. a-maths. tml got new format. why did they have to wait so long to introduce us to the o'level format. i wonder how much the paper is over. hope its 80. tts 20 marks lesser a burden. wee! but differentiation, integration sux. relative velocity is fun (if i know how to do it).

L1R5 of 47 here i come.
if i can use the tamil tt i sat for last year, L1R5 of 39 here i come.

i'm sleepy and i have to go to bishan (thomson road) now. all by myself. sad. i hope i oversleep in the bus and get brought back to bishan interchange again. =D

you will never be replaced ;
1:18 pm

i have lost my prelims timetable again. its either someone threw it away or i've got severe case of selective-amnesia.

had history paper today. was relieved when i saw the history paper SEQs. germany came out. i could do it (i think). but my SBQ, i wun be suprised if i got a L1/1 for all 4 questions again. haiz. i cudnt finish 1d and 1b. my 4a's conclusion was 'the great depression was the most important factor.' i wanted to add on when ms wee said 'history elective students-stop writing.' haiz. according to my dream (nightmare), i need 41/50 to pass. which is totally so not possible.

tml i've got e-maths paper 1 and lit paper 1. i wanna do well. may it be to prove to mrs chiu tt i'm not stupid and do listen to her in class or to help my L1R5. hmm. my aim is to pass all subject for now. with at least two As. lol. seems easy rite? but to me its quite hard. cant think of two subjects for A. hmt? e-maths? lol. dunno.

i'm sleepy. grown out of it. am happy like this. nth more needed. thanx anyway eh. =)

you will never be replaced ;
3:04 pm

woo. monday is my history prelims and i;m not prepared for it. when i study, i get so nervous. i dunno wat to study: worse still - where to start.

i'm scared. very scared.

deepa called me and told me something. hmm. lol. i still think the guy got the wrong person. but he insists he's correct. i hope they're not pulling my leg. i juz find this thing weird. wee!

muz start mugging! but mug and pam are opposites.

you will never be replaced ;
6:52 pm

wenshen wants me to add that he saw me on wednesday (or izzit tuesday) at the traffic light.

you will never be replaced ;
6:31 pm

ok. yesterday i had another weird dream. this time its about el exam.

in my dream, i, for dunno what reason was sitting for my english listening comprension. den aft the paper, ms phua asked me, "how do u think u did for ur listening compre? do u think ur LC marks will be able to pull up the marks for the subject?". er. then, awkwardly, i asked her why and asked her if i had performed badly for my papers. den she her reply was, "i dunno which are the sections. but, u failed 3 out of 4 sections for EL". ok the 4 sections are the report and compo in paper 1 and the compre and summary of paper 2. yea. den aft tt i was thinking about my marks. den if i'm not wrong i woke up to go for today's physics.

i woke up at 7.15. i was supposed to meet luann at 7.45 at cck. i was sure gonna be late. did mock exam. quite ok la. physics is not bad. as long as its not held in any non-air-conditioned room. nth much to say about it.

about my dream. its weird. two consequent days in a row. about exams. worse still about the papers that i've already sat for. scary. yesterday's ss paper dream was a heart-ache esp about the seq. i put in effort ok. haiz. i dunno. juz hope these dreams dun come true. =X

you will never be replaced ;
1:16 pm

oh ya. i had this weird weird dream last nite. let me introduce the characters in my dream: xinle. lian kwee. me. and some classmates who i cant remember who.

this dream was about my ss results. and in the dream onli xinle and lian kwee, for i dunno wat reason, managed to sneak up to the teacher's desk and view everyone's results. then, xinle came and told me tt i got 0/25 for my source-based questions and 9/25 for my structured questions. den, xinle and lian kwee started discussing about the class results (something which never has happened in reality) and if i'm not wrong, lian kwee disappears. den xinle brings another fren to show her her(the fren's) results.

weird dream.

dun ask me why xl and alk. i dunno. it juz came. and i think i've been thinking too much about my ss exam. oops. but 9/50. SCARY!

you will never be replaced ;
10:07 am

ok. i hate this feeling. it always happens aft uptlc nite. did they have to talk about 'it' and bring up whatever i had always wanted to hide and not remember. ok. not remembering may be hard but at least not bringing it up is the best they can do rite? i cannot study. i keep thinking of 'it'. and they keep saying of some stuff which is not true especially when the truth is obvious. why do they choose not to see the truth? or do they see it and choose to ignore me at my presence? this hurts.

you will never be replaced ;
9:44 am

ok. i'll be leaving my house soon. going for uptlc grad nite. going to puva's house b4 going to uptlc. i wanna go and yet dowan go at the same time. this weird weird feeling within me. last year/couple of months together. i should be going. ya. hope everything turns out well. no embarassing situations. no anjadi troubles. no unpleasant things. yes. and hope that my batteries can last!!!

you will never be replaced ;
1:33 pm

today had chem practical. hmm. QA sucked. i didnt know wat i was doing. i cudnt smell anything!!! =( but at least i was pretty sure that my titration results were more or less correct. had the same value as many people. at least i wun end up getting a 2/12 lyk wat happened in my mid-year. now all the prelim pracs are over. left with the real papers.

tml got grad nite. to go or not to go? i wanna take loads and loads of pics. but i'm juz lazy to spend 1 plus hour travelling to a place, doing some crap stuff, and travel another 1 plus hour back home. somemore i dunno if all my frens are going. haiz. later i'll have to call them up. muz go buy batteries for the camera.

yesterday i watched singapore idol. christopher, candice and daphne got in. and boy! i do hate those judges! so sarcarstic and mean. competing with each other to be the singapore simon? i think sylvester(spl) was v.cute esp when ken said, "i think we both share the same problem- we dun smile enough". and christopher's teeth is so straight and pearly white!! =( wat toothpaste does he use? *sigh*

one day over. coming to 2 days. if this continues, i'll be happy.

you will never be replaced ;
5:57 pm

yesterday was teachers' day eve. when i woke up, i had this soar throat and bad flu. but i decided to go to sch anyway. my parents allowed me to stay at home but i tot tt tiger wudnt accept parents' letter of excuse. the concert was nice. had line-dancing. i hate these kinda time wasting stuff.

den had food delight. my throst was hurting so i didnt want to eat. but i was too tempted by the brownies. =X later my flu became worse. i came back home at around 1+. and went to sleep. i woke up at 3. aft tt went online. and felt worse. took my temperature around 5+. it was 36.2. i was feeling sick and my temp was low. but tt was common.

at around 7 i took my temperature again. 38.0. ok. tt was pretty high. whenever i had flu, the highest temperature i've ever reached was 37.4. so i called my mummy and asked her to bring me to the doctor. so we decided to go to the clinic aft dinner. at 8.30, my temp was 38.5. temperature rising. haiz.

at the clinic, my temperature rose to 39.1. tts lyk the highest tempertaure i've ever reached in the past ten years or something. i think the last time my temperature was like that high was when i was hospitalised for some lung tingy as a kid. yea.

doctor doesnt know the reason for my fever. he asked to wait for 5 days, and if the fever doesnt go down, i'll have to take blood test to check if i have dengue fever.

this morning i kept waking up at one-hourly intervals. weird.

anyway, george was also sick with the same temperature yesterday. he also had pains at his joints. me too.

i found my prelim time-table finally!! i'm scared for all the papers. somehow i scared tt i cannot pass a-maths. i'm aiming for a distinction in the o's. but i juz fear not even being abe to meet the minimum requirement, a pass grade. very pressurizing.

you will never be replaced ;
3:59 pm